The future is an intimidating concept.
A million things can go wrong this very second. A gigantic meteor may unceremoniously hit earth and obliterate it. An epidemic may spontaneously break out and wipe out our entire species. You may read a horrible blog post.
But we can’t be sure of any of that. Yet.
There is a theory I recently came across that makes sense ( I read it off the internet, of course its legit) and is pretty interesting if you consider it with an open mind and an imagination that exceeds an obsessive need for precise scientific explanations. It essentially states that every time you makes a decision, a number of “parallel universes” come into existence where you did differently, and everything in the world(s) is connected in such strange, complex ways that you might never fathom the gravity of your choices.
Little things matter. You laugh at a bad joke and a plant species mutates. You spill ketchup on your shirt and a volcano erupts. In your own world or in some other one, the possibilities are endless.
This implies that we don’t have A single future. We have billions, trillions of them ( You may choose to staunchly believe in destiny and fate but I think its a lot more fun to think about strange, unpredictable possibilities than pre determined paths that you must be saught all through life.)
The Butterfly effect is applicable in almost every situation and makes for interesting contemplations when you are waiting for your turn at the barbers. But I am especially conscious of it right now.
This moment seems electric. I am very aware that a decision at this stage will determine the rest of my life in peculiar ways and the prospect that I may make the wrong choice is horrifying. It is a bit too real this time. Shockingly in my face.
Since everything is supposed to be this huge organised mess of chaotic events, every little action of mine, say a sneeze or a fart, may be causing earthquakes in Sweden or perhaps, on some other planet hundreds of lightyears away. According to that, everything I do is very detrimental.
BUT. I’d much rather think about my puny little future and the colleges I want to get into. Direct correlations make everything more important. (Plus, I’m extremely selfish and narrowminded that way. Sue me.)
I mean, college is scary. It is such a hideously adult thing to do. There is so much that I can do and want to do. There is also so much I am not looking forward to.
Like the lack of uniforms. Some would percieve it as FINALLY being allowed to wear what they want to so that they can make personal statements among peers. I just see an extra 20 minutes being wasted in picking out clothes every single morning. Or the sudden extreme independence. Seriously, the idea of living in a new city with random strangers in a room is not very appealing to me. I develop pet peeves within seconds and its difficult to adjust my sloppiness to the sloppiness of somebody else. Above that, there is the fact that I have to stay academically sound the whole time as well. What was even the point of finishing school? Is my life going to be an endless series of academic adjustments after all?
I can whine all I want, but facts are facts.
Things are happening now. Lives are converging and diverging. Maybe for years, maybe for hours. This is as brutal an end to a chapter as can be. And yet, it is so strangely intriguing. I get to choose between worlds. Even though I cant ever know which one is the best. ( thats why we need time machines)
I might not meet half the people I love at all in a few months, let alone years and maybe that would be alright. Maybe it wont. Maybe Ill make it big, and maybe i wont.Maybe my existence will determine the end of the world or the fate of a mouse. Anything can happen.
And I can never tell how much it all matters. Not really.
The future is an intimidating concept. Its even more so when you love cramming your head with bizarre cosmic theories.