There are many things I love on this good ol’ blue green planet of ours, like say breakfast buffets, ice-cubes, books, thick milkshakes, leather jackets, Disney parades, artsy Instagram accounts, science fiction, frozen yogurt, meat, beaches and Doodle Jump.
The list is infinite, incomplete and absolutely imaginary. I do not know what I’ll come to appreciate or when. But when I do know, I know for sure, with everything I have, that I love something.
And I won’t pretend like I am not waiting for these moments all the time because when they happen, in spite of everything else wrong with the world, I become completely fascinated, mesmerised, happy, taken.
I am not talking about real people here. Love, different from the kind one has for family, close knit friends and attractive celebrities, is a concept entirely foreign to me. The more I have read and watched of it, the more skeptical I have become. It’s a beautiful notion but I do not have the experience or the clichés to talk about it with a flair that will touch you or impress you or change you. I know only of my little detours. And with those considerations I will proceed.
When they say live in the moment, do they consider that maybe the day they want to live so completely is just an inherently awful one? You know, the kind of day when it feels like everyone and everything is out (with their savage dogs) to get you? When even your tragedies are so trivial that they seem almost comic but they really aren’t at the time and you promise yourself that someday you’re going to look back and laugh at them? I’m sure you know.
Sometimes, mildly bad things happen during very dull spans of time and we don’t have enough reasons to complain because we aren’t completely miserable. We reason that people are probably starving and dying and hey at least we have a roof over our heads and food in our tummies, right? It isn’t too bad, is it?
Well frankly speaking, it isn’t. But it will drive you crazy anyway. People who stubbornly reason don’t have it bad even when they do.
And that is why i believe in escapism. What’s so great about living in a day that is being so persistently unlivable? Or, if you are chronically unlucky, a life? Nothing, is the answer if you hadn’t guessed. Sure, your tolerance levels go up…along with your blood sugar. You develop rock- hard resolve and determination…with permanent frown lines as a stunning reward.
Stress is entirely subjective and in order to prevent becoming an absolute, unbearable cynic, you must have my moments. You must search and find little things that make you fall in irrevocable love. That get you so obsessed that reality just becomes one of the many worlds you belong to.
When there is no concrete problem and there is no perceived, unachieved goal at the end of your pointless frustration, you need to be taken by the little things. Acknowledge the annoying situation and how bad it could be by all means, but then turn your back to it and walk away towards rainbows and green things. Basically, refuse to take stress until things make sense and your sanity awakens from its temporary hibernation. Just don’t do drugs in the process, thats never the answer. (Think more art and books maybe?)
There is nothing worse than boredom and the awareness of not being on an adventure. When you have a bad day, you need ideas and concepts and happiness in your head to fall back on. ‘Thinks’ just waiting for you in the dull monotony of the god awful day.
Us puny, little humans with our giant, crazy brains aren’t half as strong as we pretend to be. We need our own worlds if we wish to survive in the real one.
Here is how I see it: The secret is to keep yourself utterly distracted. I know it sounds bad, but it works wonders when it’s done right. A sense of purpose can be derived from the most bizarre things and when the world decides to neglect you, your interests must shine in all their glory and make you realise that there are always reasons to just be. Don’t neglect your responsibilities, but never be convinced of your worthlessness.
For instance, when you spill food on your favorite dress, think of power ranger theme songs; When you lose your last pen, weigh the credibility of vampires and zombies in real life; When you have a fight, doodle butterflies. When a peer insults you, read fan fiction. Embrace your short attention span. Consider problems when you are full of strange, happy stuff.
Don’t let your head be empty of supposedly useless things. Fall back thinks are a necessity when things are grey.
Trust me, I am in law school.